


Alice, Dear

by VaguelyShakespeare_ish



Category: Final Fantasy VII, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Accidental God status, Author ignores much canon, Author ignores much timeline, Canon? What Canon?, Humor, Isn't that a new one, Takes place during Wutai wars, femharry, universe hopping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-27 00:15:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6261517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VaguelyShakespeare_ish/pseuds/VaguelyShakespeare_ish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alice Potter was having a Bad Day. Well, that was somewhat of an understatement.  She hadn't had a Bad Day since the Great Hair Fiasco on Auror Orientation, and that was universally agreed to never be mentioned again. Of course, being stranded in a strange land where everyone spoke a strange language with a monster attacking her was almost topping the cake. Almost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alice, Dear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hagrid would have a field day here.

Alice Potter was having a Bad Day. Well, that was somewhat of an understatement. 

Alice Potter was an auror, the best of the best. She was the Voldemort Vanquisher. She was godmother and guardian of the first child born of any werewolf. She could crush any male chauvinist beneath the pointed, high-galeon heels that adorned her dainty feet without batting an eye. She hadn't had a Bad Day since the Great Hair Fiasco on Auror Orientation, and that was universally agreed to never be mentioned again.

Of course, being stranded in a strange land where everyone spoke a strange language with strange creatures that weren't even in the Monster Book Of Monsters attacking her while a child screamed on her hip was almost topping the cake. Almost. 

(It was right behind the Crush of Fourth Year, the Rat-man, and the Nail Incident of Year Six.)(Malfoy had never bad-mouthed a woman since)

“Bombarda!”

If there was any damage to the nearby rocks on the cold mountain, well, who was around to judge?

“Eto?”

Apparently him. The man was an older gentleman, his brown hair fading to grey and laugh lines softening his chiseled face. His brown eyes were wide as he watched Alice with awe. (Oh Fuck.) He pulled his coat around himself tighter and began babbling in his strange language. Alice looked down at the snow and wished for a coat herself. Teddy kept crying and she absently bounced him on her hip, looking back up at the now-silent local. 

She looked at the leftovers from the monster, back to Teddy, and finally at the local.

“I suppose the Statute of Secrecy doesn't stand here, then.” Alice conjured a large comforter, wrapping it around herself and Teddy.

The local began babbling again, his eyes filled with wonder. The word “-sama” made multiple appearances. 

“What have we gotten ourselves into this time, Teddy?”

“Gomeeta!”

“I completely agree, kiddo.”

.oO0Oo. 

After the local calmed down, he lead Alice (and, in technicality, Teddy) to a small village. Before arriving, he threw his arms side and shouted out a foreign word. Alice assumed it was the name of a village. She didn't catch it as she was dodging Teddy’s hand, who had taken to mimicking others’ actions. She didn't stay long enough to pick up on what the name of the town was.

It was kind of difficult living with people who idolized you. Especially if the spine a different language. It was this reason that after about a week, Alice packed up the gifts the villagers had given her and left. She didn't go far. About a forty-three minute walk away from the village there was well-sized, worn down cottage. With a few spells, mostly just rearranging some of the natural elements, Alice had herself a nice place to call home. If she splurged some and added some personality with the singing hammocks, a couch that was never where it was supposed to be, floating candles for lighting, or a door you had to tickle for entrance, well... Who has around to judge?

Three years after setting up her and Teddy's home, she learned the foreshadow that question brought when a trio of dumbasses with glowing eyes crashed into her garden.

Those had been three very nice, very peaceful years. She grew her own food, taught Teddy the magic he needed, learned the language, and continued being a sort-of God to her locals. (She realized she considered the locals "hers" after thwarting off a couple of monsters that nearly invaded the place a year or so back.) She was very thankful that the land she was on was a neutral land, away from Wutui (Watui, Watai, Wutai?) Wutai and that fucking Electric Company that wasn't a morgana-dammit-all electric company.

Which lead to her dilemma. SOLDIERS. Of fucking course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of the stuff, such as the misspelling of Wutai, is because this takes place from Alice's view, and she really doesn't care. Figured I'd warn ya before you guys gave me any criticism, (which I really want, seriously, I love creative criticism!)


End file.
